Hi. We are ten days into October. I am late writing this blog, I know. Forgive me.

I had every intention of getting this done earlier but vacation, the death of my laptop, and then switching from PC to Mac happened.

I am not sure I know who I am anymore – this learning curve is steep.

Where am I in my challenge?

As of yesterday afternoon:

6 out of 21 yoga classes
9 out of 30 Peloton sessions
Writing in my journal every day
Instagram updates are happening
Obviously, this blog is late
Meditation – not so great

Now, let’s get to the honesty
portion of this challenge.

I am not worried about getting my Peloton classes in – I have been using my treadmill almost
every day since March. When your surgeon tells you to walk because you will not recover if you sit
on your ass all day, then you walk. Grow, bone, grow!

Yoga – you saucy minx. I am struggling with the fact that I am not further ahead. There is a part of my brain that says I should be doing more classes, being super consistent, and pushing myself harder. The reality is I spend ten plus hours a day at the office a couple times a week and by the time I get home, my back hurts so bad I could cry. This combination ensures that I will not do yoga on those days. Or your husband decides a three-day fruit cleanse is necessary and that last day makes you so angry that even the thought of yoga makes you want to scream. That’s probably when I should have done a class.

What are my takeaways after 6 classes in 9 days?

What? Yoga in the studio! It felt good to be back @hotyogarevolution this morning-so many thoughts and emotions. I'm going to take them all and put them into the blog this week. October is going to be a good time!

- I am thankful for replay classes. Without them, this wouldn’t be possible this year. My schedule and my aversion to going to live classes during a global pandemic would make this challenge an epic fail. I went to one class in the studio and fought off a panic attack the entire time. The studio is safe, I know the measures they are taking, I am just not comfortable at this time.

- I definitely have favorite teachers. I definitely struggle with doing Journey into Power classes every day, especially when a teacher does not change it up. I am struggling with my aversion to Baron Baptiste, the repetitive phrasing used in so many classes, and the lack of imaginative flow that it inspires.

- I struggle with the breathing during yoga. I really like the one breath, one movement concept of yoga but some teachers go way too fast. Though let’s be honest, I am slow as molasses right now.

- I struggle with my back being tight and uncooperative. Since my surgery, I have noticed that I have to send extra signals from my brain to my limbs. Occasionally, my legs do not want to do what I want them to do. I am also very slow. I have a hard time going from a standing pose to a floor pose. You know, Warrior I to Chaturanga, etc. It makes me feel like the Tin Man without enough oil.

- I am learning to accept where I am. I am accepting that I cannot do all the poses. I am accepting that my spine is not ready for some moves. I am accepting that I am slower and more thoughtful of where I put my feet and hands. I am accepting that I am frightened of hurting myself. Let me tell you, there is nothing like throwing your back out post spinal fusion and I have no desire to experience that again. I am accepting that my brain and my body are not on the same page right now.

- Fuck, I LOVE yoga. I think it is the only time, except when I’m fully immersed in a book, that my brain shuts off. I focus on the poses, my body, and my breath. That yoga high is real.

Meditation – my arch nemesis. Do you have the Headspace app? They have a great sleep meditation that I do many nights. I consider yoga a moving meditation but am I sitting down for 15 minutes and meditating? No.
Am I afraid to be alone with my thoughts? Sometimes. Are my tarot cards telling me to meditate? Constantly.

All in all, it hasn’t been a terrible ten days. How is your October going?